Teenagers Going Naturals

Any teenagers going natural and having a hard time dealing with teasing from other kids or had positive responses from other kids?

I tried to go natural when I was in middle school. I wanted to go natural SOOOO bad, but everything was not in my favor. My mother kept begging me to get a relaxer and the kids made it even worse. “Why are you growing out your perm?” “I don’t understand” “When are you going to get a relaxer?”  I can only imagine what the kids said behind my back. At the time I didn’t think of it as “going natural”…this was 1996-97.  I was 12 years old and had no clue what I was doing. I didn’t even think to go on the internet and research. I had an obsession with curly hair. I would go to all of the Beauty Supply Stores and get anything that said Curly Activator, “Curl” anything…I picked it up. I even used to beg my mom to get Wave Noveau. The only thing I understood was that, when I needed a relaxer, my roots would get curly so I came up with the idea that “Hmmm, maybe if I stop getting relaxers, all of my hair can be curly”…Well, I had the right concept but I guess it was the wrong time and wrong decade. If that happened today, I felt like it would be easier for me to go natural…but I don’t know. Anyone in High school/middle school or have daughters that age that are trying to go natural? Is it easier now in 2010 or is it just as hard as it was when I was in middle school?

(I have to find my middle school yearbook so I can show you all a pic of me trying to grow out  my hair lol)

Comments

comments

  • Deidra Dake

    i’m glad you made a blog post about this :). i am a teenager who went natural during high school. i found out about being natural in December ’08 in a hair salon.as i was sitting under a hooded dryer after my relaxer was freshly rinsed from my head, i was flipping through a magazine ( i can’t remember the name) and came across a Kinky Curly ad. i LOVED the big hair the girl had in the ad and i was curious as to what this whole natural business was about. so i pulled out my side kick and added the website to my notes. as soon as i got home I went to the KC website. i saw a YouTube vid on the page of a lady demonstrating how to use the KCCC. i looked to the right where the related vids were and I was hooked! so I transitioned from then on. i bunned my hair the whole junior year. and then one day, about 4 months into transitioning, i let my hair down for school. i thought everything was fine, no one noticed…until the end of the day. a girl who i used to dance with on the school’s dance team was talking about me was behind me telling her friend that (in these exact words which i will never forget) ‘why she let her be like that?’. my heart dropped. her friend shushed her and she said ‘idc if she hear me’. that same day when i got home and i looked into the mirror i thought, why am i doing this? there are NO natural girls at my school and no one would understand. i should just give up. but I prayed about it and continued to do me. then senior year came. yes, i’m at the top of the food chain again! haha. no one would treat me badly and all those pompous perks that came with being a senior made me feel invincible to criticism. i was still transitioning until Oct 2nd, i decided to do the big chop. i had shoulder length hair my WHOLE life and it was thick and ‘healthy’. that same night I had a football game. being on the dance team, I had to go back to school and dance during halftime. i was really nervous. i got to the school and my dance teammates were in FULL support. the black girls were kind of uneasy but they weren’t upset with me. so the night went well. although during sidelines facing the crowd, I was super self conscious. lol. that feeling went away after i conquered that night. now the biggest task was being in school. with short hair…lol. as soon as i walked into the building ‘omg deidra cut her hair’, ‘the girl on the poms team is bald’. lol. people who i never talked to in my class swarmed me at my locker in 2.1 seconds. lol. i never knew how bad i had to defend myself. now…everyone that wasn’t black liked it. which was more than half of the school. african americans make up about 16% at RHS. i wish my people would have supported me as well. everyone thought i was crazy for chopping off my hair and stared at me all the time, calling me the nappy girl, especially the freshmen… i cried some nights :(. i was the only natural haired girl in the whole school. by the end of this past school year, i accomplished something before i graduated, i left some of the underclassmen transitioning and people with open minds about natural african american hair :). btw, senior year was my WORST high school year ever. lol. but it was worth it :D. and i’m so excited to go to college now! lol. thanks again lexi for posting and i love ur blog!! :D

  • http://www.youtube.com/cjanaew Camille

    I’m went natural in the middle of my senior year. I never had a relaxer, just Wave Nouveau, it’s funny that you mentioned it in the post. So I already was rocking the curly look, but it was curls that were much looser than my natural texture. I had that for about three years. The summer before my senior year, I took a sudden interest in sisterlocks. This where I began to learn about going natural. I decided I would grow out the “texturizer” for a few months, then do the big chop and start locks. But somehow, in August, right before school started, I ended up at the hair shop getting the texturizer. That was the last time and I finally did the big chop on Dec. 30, 2008. My hair was no more than a couple inches long and I was so nervous about what others would think. I had no problem wearing my new cut out in public, but something about school just really made me self-concious. I wore a hat the first couple days to schools and finally decided to wear it out. The response was mixed. Some people loved it and said it suited me, but those who didn’t like it never said anything to my face. I heard whispers and giggles and noticed stares, but it didn’t stop me from rocking my curls. I never ended up getting locks because I loved my hair loose and wanted to achieve a huge fro.
    I just finished my first year of college, and everyone there seemed to love it. I got compliments from people of all races. In fact, many of the African American females ask me to show them how I style it and take care of it. Many of them are natural, but only where it straight.
    I think regardless of the decade, going natural as a teen will always be more difficult than doing it as an adult. Thanks for posting this!

  • Mariah

    These stories were very inspiring to read. I can’t imagine what people will say when I go back to school in the fall. I am currently transitiong, without the big chop though. I am 19 and in the fall I will be a sophmore at UNC Charlotte. I decided to go natural about three months after my last relaxer. The main reason I wanted to make this change is becasue I wanted something for me. I broke up with my first love back in November. I was absolutely depressed and restless. I completely let myself go. All I ever had time to do was think about him and cry in bed. This did not make for a pleasant freshmen year of college. When I saw he had a new girlfriend 5 months later I nearly died. I decided that I needed something for myself; something to get my mind off of him and take better care of myself in the process. I decided to go natural. And I love making time to do my transitioning hair. It has given me a goal and something to look forward to. I know it seems wierd to wrap so much emotion into my hair, but if I hadn’t came across this blog and decided to go natural…who knows. I am truly thankful for this blog and my hair. I am not completely over the heart break but I am happy to have this new oppurtunity to do something just for me.

  • http://averagegirlreads.blogspot.com Dani in NC

    My story is similar to yours, Lexi, except I tried to go natural in the early 80s. You didn’t think to check the internet, while I didn’t even have the option! My mother kept talking me back into getting relaxers. Now that she’s a grandmother, she’s natural herself. Don’t think I didn’t say something!

    My 13 yo twins are going natural right now. One of them has gotten the big chop out of necessity; the relaxers weren’t doing anything but breaking her hair off. They didn’t even make her hair pretty for a little while. It was stiff like a wire brush and stuck up all over her head. Her twin sister, whose hair took the relaxers a little better, has decided to transition slowly.

    Both girls decided to go natural shortly before school let out, and they are a little worried about what their friends will say when school starts back at the end of August. We still having perfected our styling skills, so I promised them that they could wear a protective style like braids with extensions until I figure out what I’m doing!

  • Kramie

    I’m happy to see this article I am actually 11 months transitioning myself. I started getting a relaxer in 3rd grade and up to about 7th grade when I started getting a texturizer. I mostly just straightened my hair but I was in love with the way it looked when I would wash and go.Curls were more my style! So Sept 09 I talked with a fellow natural classmate and have been transitioning ever since. My hair is thicker, healthier, and just plain better. I’ve recently started henna and that has helped even more. My sister has waist length natural hair when straightened and mine used to be the same. I’m excited to have my healthy hair back!
    ps im a junior in hs.

    <3

  • Kayla

    Wow this is so great to see such great stories ! I am 15 in high school -sophomore- and I decided to go natural 3 months after my last relaxer in June and right around the time of my birthday in September. Funny thing though is that my hair is relaxed but only in some areas lol. In June when I had my older sister (try) to relax my hair, it turned out that my scalp and relaxers DON’T mix so I had to rinse it out as soon as i could (second relaxer I ever had and my scalp burned like you don’t want to know both times), so thankfully i can still see my natural curl pattern in some areas which gives me something to look forward to. I honestly didn’t even think of going natural until I seen this one girl at my school with the same hair type as mine wear hers out in a big (healthy) curly fro and i thought ( why didn’t i just stay natural?). So later that day I searched YouTube for going natural and before you know it I came across tons of youtubers who were also going natural and transitioning. Although I was a “little” bit hesitant I soon got over it because i realized that not only was it MY hair but it was the hair that God made specifically for ME.

    So, today in the month of December this marks my 3rd month in transition and i absolutely love it ! Not only has this given me courage, confidence, and knowledge on so many other things, it has also helped because now people around me are going natural such as my mom, aunt, grandmother, and other African american girls at my school.

    Ps. Chopping half of my relaxed hair off in June and the other half in December :D

  • Carlisa

    Transitioning as a teen is definitely a struggle but I got used to the snide remarks from family, friends , and random people . I started transitioning since November of 2009 and I had a lot of new growth . My hair was growing like weeds and I didnt have any natural hair information . I didnt know about the amazing support on websites & blogs like http://www.curlscoilsandkinks.com & http://www.curlynikki.com and the natural youtube videos . I was 14 at the time and in June of 10′ I became so discouraged from the comments and got my last relaxer before my birthday in June . & now I have been transitioning ever since . I found my online support and have even convinced some friends to go natural too. So now I know I am NEVER going back to relaxerss :D & I will be starting a blog soon for transitioning/natural teens because there just isnt enough for teens.

  • Cameron Coleman

    I am so happy I that found this site. I figured there were other girls my age(14) going natural but I never really knew for sure. I have been transitioning since August 2010. Two things caused me to want to go natural. I was getting rEaLlY sick of relaxing my hair and seeing it so lifeless and limp looking, and the constant breaking of my hair! My mom had also went natural and my dad encouraged me to go natural telling me of the history of black women and the reason we relax our hair. At first I got very frustrated with transitioning because all the blogs kept saying that I should stop flat-ironing my hair, something that I had done.. umm… for like ever. I eventually got to a point where straightened hair didn’t feel like me anymore and I was sick of having to worry about bringing an umbrella and being scared of the wind blowing in my face. I got sick of my flat hair! I decided that if I was going to go natural that I would have to start treating my hair like it was already natural, meaning no more flat-ironing. So I decided to get cornrows and start trying kinky twists, and so far I am content with doing that. I plan on transitioning(im getting really tired of spelling that word lol) for about a year. I want to rock a full head on natural hair. Sadly, I have NO clue what my hair type is so that outta be interesting to find out. I feel very blessed to have realized my need to go natural at a young age. I pray that other black girls at my school will choose to natural also. Some people say that it’s just a perfernece for black women to relax their hair but I find in most cases for that to be untrue. We have all been given the spill on why we do not wear our hair naturally and it had been so deeply rooted in our lives, to relax our hair, that I didn’t even know my hair was kinky. I litterally thought permed was all my hair could be 2 years ago. I thought to get kinky/curly hair you had to be biraccial you know half black half white. I think more websites should feautured things like this to show that there are teens who want to go natural and how hard it is dealing with the pressures of society on how to wear our hair. Two things that I will always know in my mind and heart is that black natural hair is one of the most beautiful and unique hair types ever created by God and the second thing: I will never ever in my whole entire life get a relaxer…ever again.
    DaCaMsTeR ;) :P

  • Nneka

    So I started getting relaxers at a very young age maybe around 2nd grade? I entered middle school and I found out about the difference between natural and relaxers. I was very shocked because I thought relaxer was just a cream that was essential to keep your hair healthy. Towards the end of 7th grade I got another relaxer and it totally made my hair dry and brittle. I looked into the world of natural and relaxed hair online during the summer and by August I made my decision… I chose to be natural! Fast forward to March 23, 2012, I was beginning to be a little antsy to do the big chop so, I did it. After 7 months of transitioning, I cut my hair all by myself and conditioned it and wrapped it in a scarf and went to bed. I woke up this morning still amazed by my natural but, then I realized I have to go back to school on Monday and we all know how critical and rude middle schoolers can sometimes be. I am beyond scared to go back on Monday and its not that I hate my Natural hair but people still like me for me? Regardless of whether they will or not I do not regret cutting my hair. Yes, I miss my shoulder length hair but, if I grew out my hair once I can definitely do it again. I can’t wait to continue my natural journey :)

  • Kiara

    I have not got the big chop yet but I am. I am in 8th grade. I’m not the most liked at my school because being quiet and African American at my school kind of pushes me to the outter zone. I am so excited and I don’t care what anybody says. After all, I’m only doing me :)

  • ari

    well, im 16 and for months i had been thinking about going natural but scared of the big chop. so i got my first sew in, and 3 months later (yesterday) when i took it down..i forgot to comb my hair in the shower so my hair tangled like crazy and i tried my best to comb it out, but my ma told me you wanted to go natural so..start now. with each chop of the scissors i cried, thinking i looked like amber rose, but i had to remember its hair and its going to grow back. when i looked in the mirror..it wasnt as bad i thought so i started lookin at natural styles and IMMIDIATELY i started crying thiking i was ugly. it took for one of my best friends to tell me arionna, you’re still beautiful for me to realize that anybody that didnt like my hair could kiss it. i am not my hair, i am not this skin..i am a soul that lives within -india arie i am not my hair.

  • Tory

    I am a freshman in highschool. I haven’t had a relaxer since june but i haven’t actually decided to go natural until last week. Its been a challenge because i can’t quite figure out what style I want to use yet and for the last two days have been a bad hair day but the feedback has been great. Hopefully it’ll stay like that. I’m also trying to promote being natural at my school and have been trying to convince my friends to take this journey with me. Everyone always talks about how much they miss there natural hair so most likely they’ll transition. Maybe my journey will inspire theirs.

  • lacandis brown

    well im sixteen, a junior in high school, and I wat to go natural. I tried back im apil and lasted until august. before school started back I got to thinking why am I trying to do this?? I have healthy shoulder length hair, I get many compliments on it and I started to think of how my peers would react. So I permed and now one of my friends big chopped and it made me want to so bad, so I came up with a plan to transition from October to may then big chop. ive realized that it doesn’t matter what others think its my hair not theirs. I even let my friend guys influence my choice they would say “candis if you cut yo hair ima dog you til it grow back” and I mean who wants to be ridiculed by the same people who onc praised your hair. but I don’t care anymore im big choppin may and if my classmates don’t like it they can eat rocks! lol

  • Kayla

    Just came across this page in my bookmarks and totally forgot that I left a comment here lol. Well, it’s been nearly 2 and a half years since I made a comment and 2 years since I’ve been natural. It’s been an AMAZING experience and it has even helped me in other areas of life as far as having an increase in confidence goes (or maybe It’s because I’ve matured some too?). Anyways, throughout my hair journey I’ve only had ONE negative comment about my hair (and that was eons ago during transition), since then I have gotten nothing but compliments and I’ve even became the inspiration for my mom, aunt, and FIVE other girls at my school to go natural! Who would’ve thought? I’ve only straightened my hair twice (once after my BC and recently just to see the length) and to be honest straight hair doesn’t even excite me anymore. Plus with being natural you always stand out (in a good way of course) and who doesn’t want that? If you’re a teen girl or any other age for that matter and you’re pondering going natural, I say go for it and embrace your uniqueness! Be BOLD! :)